Benilde Red Cross Youth Council (BRCYC), in partnership with Benilde Central Student Government, finished their relaunched project called #UsapTayo Freedom Wall that featured 50 stories of the struggles, pain, and hopes of healing of different contributors from the Benildean community from Oct. 19 to Dec. 25, 2020.

The Freedom Wall project was originally launched last September, featuring hashtags #BeThe1ToBeThere, #StigmaFree, and #SuicidePreventionMonth, with their first entry posted last September 23. Seeing the effectiveness of the project, it was relaunched in continuation of #UsapTayo2020 to shed light on more feelings without the risk of judgement and criticism.

Here are some of the stories that were featured in the freedom wall:

• Freedom Wall Entry #30: “I choose my worth and my heart.” - Anonymous

[Trigger Warning: Emotional abuse, verbal abuse, suicidal tendencies]

“This is something that happened to me and my ex-boyfriend in the previous year, when we were still studying, we had done premarital sex until third base in his house and other places with privacy walls. This was the traumatic experience of my life because coming from a religious family we are known to do sex after marriage, but this premarital sex was different because my ex-boyfriend is sexually frustrated and wants to lose his virginity with me.”

“Through his abusive mouth and his sadness, he forced me to give in which I did just to please him when I know in my heart that this is bad to do because I had no respect for myself. I have regretted doing this because this is not supposed to be done, it continued for a year until I finally broke it off the relationship.”

“I wanted to kill myself cause of the regret of this decision, I went on to the dark side and tried to commit suicide by punching walls and overdosing my vitamins. It went on and I did not go to school for 2 months.”

“More on, I told my “friends” about how we broke up but they believed his story more than mine. Called me a whore, a slut and a liar. So I ended up being left alone with no friends and no boyfriend, but I never felt more relieved and alive in my entire life. I am very sad and blessed that this experience will not happen to me anymore.”

“I told this story to my friends and my family. I filed a case to the school, but some of my “so-called” friends just laughed at me. But it's the right thing to do. [I chose my worth and my heart]. I find good in this experience, because moving on from it is hard, but it's the right way to honor my parents. I may be friendless now but I know in my heart that I did the right thing. and I chose to let go of the desire [to] end my life because of this traumatic experience.”

• Freedom Wall Entry #43: “I wanna come out” - Anonymous
  

[Trigger Warning: Homophobia]

“[I wanna come out,] but they just always make me feel uncomfortable when they talk about the LGBTQ+ Community... I need help. I don't want to live in a homophobic home anymore.”

• Freedom Wall Entry #61: “I’m going through life one day at a time and I’m okay with it.” - Rain
  

“The passage of time doesn’t seem to burden me as much as it once did. days, weeks, months goes by but I don’t feel anxious for my future though it does look bleak given our situation. It’s a bizarre feeling to not be stressed over my tomorrow, but instead, it rejuvenates me. it makes me want to hold my loved ones tighter, focus on the present and things within my control, worry less about anything but. [I’m going through life one day at a time and I’m okay with it.]”

Other entries can be read at their official Facebook Page.  

Moreover, the following are BRCYC’s Spotify playlists for different types of emotions and hobbies:

• When feeling sad
• When in need of being happy and positive vibes
• When nervousness gets ahead of productivity and daily tasks
• When things are really stressful and frustrating
• When in need of jams during workout sessions
• When beats and a bit of melody are in need to help in boosting mood for studying

#UsapTayo2020 expressed and unfolded a total of 76 stories of different students highlighting issues with regards to stigma, gender identity, suicide prevention, healing, struggles during the pandemic, intrapersonal and interpersonal relationships, family, love life, and many more. 

The project served as an avenue to provide the Benildean community, particularly the student body, an “online safe space.” Students, who can submit their entries anonymously, were encouraged to let whatever they feel out through the Google Forms provided, which will in turn be posted in BRCYC’s official Facebook Page with posters for the public to see and listen for the stories that were waiting to be heard. 

You are not alone in this battle. If you are in need of help or know someone who might need help, different hotlines are available to assist and provide mental health support or online counselling. Some of them are the following:

• National Center for Mental Crisis Hotline (NCMH-USAP)
• 0917-899-USAP (8727)
• 7-7-989-USAP (827)
• Philippine Psychiatric Association: Mind Matters
• 0918-952-4864
• Philippine Mental Health Association (PMHA) Online Support
• PMHA’s Facebook Messenger
• pmhacds@gmail.com
• 0917-565-2036
• PsychConsult Inc.
• (02) 842-12469
• GrayMatters Psychological and Consultancy Inc. Philippines
• 0917-709-6961
• 0997-561-8778
• De La Salle University Dasmariñas Center for Applied Psychology
• 0935-751-9227
• 0919-499-8381