This program is rated SPG—Supernatural Paranormal Guidance. Welcome to your very own horror movie! But before the opening credits roll, there's one thing worth figuring out: what kind of character would you be when the supernatural takes the spotlight?
Think you’ve got what it takes to survive a night of paranormal activity? Before you start claiming main character status, remember that the supernatural doesn't exactly play by the rules. Better find out where you stand before the mumu makes that decision for you.
The one with an open third eye
Characters: Mylene, Third Eye (2014); Alia, Mata Batin (2017)
In our world, eyes often come in two—you either have two or four (horrible astigmatism!). But between these is an eye that gives you access to a world that not those with 20/20 vision cannot see: the third eye.
Known to have the ability to see what the living cannot, third-eye bearers have the unfortunate privilege of getting jumpscared for free. Like Kara Mia, except instead of having a face at the back of your head, you have an extra eye on your forehead and a front-row seat to see the white lady underneath the Vito Cruz station.
Most people who bear this ability probably wish they could get the opposite of LASIK. Because really, how many more “Yoohoo, dito ang tingin!” can they ignore before whatever's lurking in the shadows decides to devour them?
The Comic Relief
Characters: Randy Meeks, Scream (1996); Marty Mikalski, The Cabin in the Woods (2011)
As Charlie Chaplin once famously said, “Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot.” A tragically scary story always needs that one person who can find humor in even the most horrifying situations. Enter, the comic relief!
If typical survival instincts force people to go into flight-or-fight mode, the comic relief creates their own type of “F”: Fun. They’re the ones who would chirp “Avisala” during an exorcism, or even take a BeReal with the killer chasing them down. For them, there's never a wrong time for a punchline, because why read the room when the room is haunted anyway?
Doesn’t believe in ghosts
Characters: Grace Stewart, The Others (2001); Chris Washington, Get Out (2017)
An aswang could be standing right in front of them, and they’d manage to turn a blind eye to it, even asking their friends to cite 15 RRLs just to prove that monsters really do exist.
If there's one thing they trust, it's science. What they don't believe in are nanay's stories about the kapre living in the backyard. You could tell them about every pamahiin in the book, and they'd still have a perfectly logical explanation ready. In their mind, ghosts are always ‘fakeh’ and never ‘reyal.’
The “Matapang sa una, takbo sa dulo”
Characters: Ash Williams, Evil Dead (2013); Carter Burke, Alien (1979)
This type would boldly march inside the haunted house, crack their knuckles, and search for ghosts to beat up because they want to “suntukan tayo right neow.” They'd probably challenge a manananggal to a one-on-one without even knowing where its other half is.
All that bravado disappears, though, when something finally answers back. Once a hand grabs their ankle, suddenly it’s “1, 2, 3, go, kaniya-kaniya na.” From balling up their fists, they’d suddenly start Adelamaxxing just to dodge all the ghosts while running away.
The Horror Enthusiast
Characters: Ed Warren and Lorraine Warren, The Conjuring (2013); Van Helsing, Van Helsing (2004)
Like Deku writing down his observations on all the heroes he admired, or that one classmate with an entire Muji stationery collection, the Manananggal Enthusiast is always taking notes.
Treated as the group’s walking Wikipedia page, they've memorized every pamahiin their lola has ever told them. From saying “tabi-tabi po” when trekking through the grass to knowing exactly which type of bawang to bring on a ghost hunt, their insights are practically a survival manual passed down through generations. If there's a quiz on Philippine supernatural creatures, they're getting a perfect score.
If there's an actual monster outside…well, at least they studied!
The Love Birds
Characters: Chucky and Tiffany, Bride of Chucky (1998); Josh and Renai Lambert, Insidious (2010)
Not even the scariest tsanak could stop these two from sneaking in a little PDA. They're convinced that love conquers all, and apparently, that includes the supernatural. While everyone else is busy looking for holy water to shoo the evil away, these two are busy baby-talking each other, “Bb labs q, I’m so scaweddd.”
If they survive the night, it'll definitely be a relationship milestone. Couple goals, right?
Final Girl
Characters: Sidney Prescott, Scream (1996); Laurie Strode, Halloween (1978)
The last man standing is a woman! She's the main character, she's an icon, she's a legend, she is the moment, and she’s the monster's biggest opp. The mumu could be breathing down her neck, but goodness gracious, this girl has a movie to finish!
She's watched her friends get picked off one by one, but she's not going to let the aswang have the last laugh. The monster can chase her all it wants, but this girl has the kind of plot armor that even the devil can't penetrate. She's running toward the final scene, and somebody better roll those credits!
And that's a wrap! Whether you were the first to scream or the last one standing, every horror movie needs its fair share of characters to keep the story alive. So, take your final bow and thank the feng shui that you made it out alive.
And if you hear something knocking after the credits roll, well, that's probably a problem for the sequel.
