Filipino-American singer Lyn Lapid released BUZZKILL on April 25, sharing her troubles to listeners with each track. The album is both critical of those who take her for granted and accepting of her true persona.
Lapid has been making waves in the indie-pop scene since she first posted her original song Producer Man online. Following more than a few successful singles and two EPs, her music continues to comfort and impress. Moreover, Lapid has also kicked off her first world tour which takes place across the USA, Europe, and Canada.
Seeds of self-doubt
The album starts with a guitar-heavy song of the same name buzzkill, where Lapid expresses her discomfort in a new environment. While she does admit that she would rather be elsewhere, she still chases external validation and happiness through the invitation she receives. To anyone who has been to a function and regretted going because it was the wrong crowd, the feeling is familiar.
The track coraline conveys Lapid’s homesickness. She clearly dislikes her current social circle, but makes a routine of hanging out with them. Lapid is highly aware that this is detrimental to her emotional state, but continues to latch on in hopes that things will change for the better. As an upbeat hi-hat leads into the chorus towards the end of the song, she yearns for a sense of belonging that this new city and these new “friends” cannot offer.
In floater friend, Lapid continues to fear missing out and wishes to be included. There is a palpable sense of disappointment behind the line “I want to be inked in, I’ll settle for being written in chalk.” The instrumental of the electric guitar and layered vocals before the final chorus linger past the end of the song. It’s a vicious cycle of wanting to be wanted yet settling for less, and she gets frustrated at the fact that she still shows up.
Heart-to-heart
death wish is humorous and mischievous, an enjoyable change from the preceding tracks. Although Lapid sings of a friend never falling in love, the lyrics are paired with a slow, bouncy tempo and teasing harmonies. It’s not completely truthful but an exaggeration of how much Lapid doesn’t want their friend to be occupied with love, ironic considering that the following track is about falling for someone.
The song buttons make for easy listening on repeat and perfectly captures the fluttery, innocent feeling of finding a new crush. It has a slightly flirty tone, from the opening brass to the laid back piano and percussion.
Lapid is most lyrically playful with the track fix. She uses a double meaning, with “fix” referring to both a high that the persona’s partner is chasing and how it is an issue that Lapid cannot mend. The detachment of that partner is especially evident in the lyrics “You want the honey without the residue, you love how sweet it tastes but hate it when it sticks to you.” For this song, Lapid confidently calls out the unfair exchange in her relationship and realizes she is not who her partner wants, just a current object of interest.
Fresh eyes
With soulful backing vocals, take me as I am is a bold declaration to remain true to oneself even if it means losing people. It starts out quietly but crescendos at its chorus, evoking the feeling of reaching an epiphany. The persona no longer settles for pity invites or simple toleration, cutting the ties she made with those who do not truly care for her. Lapid also puts a stop to changing herself for the sake of others because people who truly want to stick around her will do so out of their own volition. It isn’t something that can be forced.
The last song of the album lets you go like the closing credits to a healing movie. it doesn’t kill me anymore is more than accepting what one cannot control, it is about kindness towards oneself. There is more to do outside of worrying about what someone else thinks and letting that take a negative effect. Compared to the first few tracks, which hold urgency from Lapid’s fast-paced overthinking, this song can be sung like an exhale, with much more ease. It encapsulates the phrase ”time heals all wounds.” Even if the pain remains, it will grow less and less of what it used to be.
By the end of the album, Lapid understands her self-acceptance is far more important than the presence of detached, insincere people she had been meeting. BUZZKILL is full of change and loneliness, but it also brings a much needed light to the lessons learned. The album can also be seen as a full circle moment, because although Lapid has many songs about doubt, she stood up for herself like she did with Producer Man. It is a skillful addition to her discography, and will certainly be a tough act to follow.
Supplementary Recommendations
back up plan - A more detailed description of not fitting in with a certain crowd and being considered a low-priority friend.
forecast - Wishing to change the stormy landscape of a loved one's troubled mind.
In case you’re feeling out of place, BUZZKILL has got you covered. The album is out now on various streaming platforms.
